You Can’t Hate Your Body Into a Shape You’ll Love
Bodies change. Period.
Although diet culture sends a loud, clear, and constant message that your body is “good” only if it remains as small as possible, this is far from factual.
Deep breath. This is not a blog about weight loss. ❤️
Truth is – human bodies change over time. Society deems body change as “acceptable,” even worthy of celebration, all throughout infancy, childhood, and adolescence. Yet, once we reach our adult years, a shift in weight, size, or shape is deemed “unacceptable.” It’s often inferred that you’ve done something wrong to bring this change upon yourself.
And yet a woman’s body changes, inevitably! For so many reasons. Metabolic and hormonal shifts happen in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and beyond! Our bodies reach peak bone mass around 30, muscle mass declines, metabolism slows. For many, there is a redistribution of fat to thighs and breast regions during prime reproductive years, to support reproduction. This change is often followed by pregnancies and/or miscarriages, fertility treatments, breastfeeding/postpartum and more!
When change take place, remember - it does not mean your body is broken. This is part of the life cycle. 🤰-👶-👧-👩-👩🦳-👵
Oh, there must be a better way!
The not-so-subliminal messaging around us communicates body fluctuations should be immediately challenged with diets, eliminations, extreme exercise, and essentially, you should hide behind discipline, until you’ve become socially acceptable enough to reemerge.
Whew. 😔 Talk about a root of shame.
We know extreme approaches, like dieting, don’t “fix.” In fact, dieting can be quite detrimental and turn into a cyclical pattern. (Learn more about how diets don’t lead to sustained weight loss or health benefits for the majority of people here.)
So, what happens if we reject the dead end diet culture solution and instead become more CURIOUS?…COMPASSIONATE?…FLEXIBLE?…PATIENT with the changes that come with living in a body beyond 20…25?…30?…35 years of age?…
I invite you to reject the common concept of despising your body and forcing it to “change back” and INSTEAD choose to respect, honor, and consistently care for it throughout the changes. THIS cultivates health and well being.
How to honor your body through inevitable change:
Size up! 👖
As difficult as it may feel to let go of an old idealized size, you will physically feel better in a size that fits your ‘right now’ body. You can move more freely! Wearing something that doesn’t squeeze, dig, or leave marks feels good mentally too.
Adjusting your size of clothes, underwear, rings, shoes, etc. is a way of meeting yourself where you’re at. It communicates that you deserve to be comfortable right now.
A common fear associated with this practice is that you’re “accepting” the change, therefore “letting yourself go.” If this resonates with you, I challenge you to reframe that thought by reminding yourself, “I am better serving my body by practicing self-care and giving it room to breathe.”
Another common blocker here is not having the budget to completely overhaul your wardrobe. Completely understandable! I encourage you to consider what versatile purchases you might be able to make gradually. Also, you may consider hosting a clothing swap with girlfriends or even visiting a thrift shop. It doesn’t have to be everything all at once.Stop waiting around for change. ⌚️
Start living, fully, right now! That means stop delaying good things for when you “deserve” them as a “reward” for getting back to your old size.
Buy a new swimsuit, enjoy the summer.
Book a trip, have fun with your spouse.
Say “yes” to outdoor plans with new and old friends.
All this because LIFE is about so much more than your body’s shape. And YOU are so much more than your body’s shape! And the people in your life need you. People love you! So, please, quit hiding in shame. ♡
Adjust your following. 🤳
Audit your IG! Unfollow accounts that cause you to compare.
Begin following accounts that better serve you in this season of life.
This may look like discovering accounts that promote self-care, spiritual growth, hobbies, or fashion accounts that cater to your new size.
Thankfully, there are influencer accounts for all shapes and sizes out there now. If you’re in your “Mid-Size Queen” era, 2 of my personal favs are: oliviafredacurves and balkanina. 😉 (Be sure to comment below which accounts you’re loving right now!)
Move forward. ➡️
A common blocker to allowing yourself to be FULLY present is holding on to the past. I encourage you to consider letting go of the items that no longer fit. Do a closet clean out or at least move those older items out of sight. When the old jeans are still sitting there, it’s like a daily silent reminder that you’re “not there yet.” …And what if you’re never back there? (Remember, that’s OK.)
If you’re willing to part, make some money back with a service like “Thred Up” or donate to someone in need.
The same concept applies for old photos… Quit memorializing your body in it’s previous form. Quit scrolling back and analyzing. It’s time to make NEW memories and add NEW photos to that album.
Practice appreciation. ♡
Moving away from negative self-talk doesn’t happen by accident. In order to operate from a place of self care, it’s vital to practice body appreciation.
Start by writing statements of genuine gratitude for your body in a journal, reciting them in the mirror, and/or working them into conversations with loved ones. Consider what your body does for you as an instrument with active purpose, not just an ornament or something to look at.
The big idea here is to move away from self-degrading language and practice thinking and speaking about your body in a way that shows honor and respect. It’ll take practice, be gracious with yourself along the way.
You’re not alone!
If this post hits home for you, I want you to know I understand that all of this is so much easier said than done. A self-care journey, against the grain of diet culture, is beyond challenging! That’s exactly why I created, “Able Together.”
Able Together is a 12-week journey towards a better relationship with food & body. And I’m here to walk it with you as your Dietitian and confidant.
Click the link below to apply for the Summer-Fall group program.
There’s space for you! ♡
Grace Lopez, RD, LD/N, CLC, CPT
Registered Dietitian Nutritionist